How To Wear What You Want To Wear With Confidence.
At the time of writing, we’re just under 7 weeks away until December.
A time of year when the majority of daylight is only seen through a window, and we begin to wind down from another challenging but rewarding year.
A time when boxes of celebrations start to commandeer the office tables, and it suddenly becomes somewhat acceptable to ditch the break time apple in favour of a mince pie.
I can’t wait.
It’s also for most of us I’d imagine, a very social time of year too.
Christmas parties here, there and everywhere.
And, I wanted to share something I’ve written about how you can have one less thing to worry about when approaching those gatherings.
That thing being, what you’re going to wear.
It’s one of the most common issues at anytime of the year really. The worry and stress that can be caused by clothes feeling tight or your favourite top or dress just not feeling all that comfortable.
I have no problem admitting this was something I stressed over.
Before you read any further I really want to say one thing.
You are entitled to wear whatever you want to wear.
You only need to keep that in mind for now.
There are enough things in this world designed to keep us on our toes, without having to worry about the clothes we wear. Yet, it’s still one of the most common worries amongst any of us who struggle with feelings towards our body.
I want to help you break past that.
The one common word I hear used to describe the main desire in all of this, is for clothes to feel, “comfortable”.
There’s a couple of things to consider here. The first one being to make sure that your outlook, has had the opportunity to catch up with what is actually going on.
What do I mean by this? If you’ve been in the mindset of trying to lose weight for a fairly long time, then it can be challenging to break away from that, when there is no longer any need for you to think like that.
This is where self reflection comes in. Taking a small moment to look back objectively at what you’ve achieved.
Along with considering the evidence that supports the thought that you no longer should be thinking like that.
Things like compliments from those around you, a record of tape measurements and any pictures you have of how you looked in the past.
You don’t have to believe it straight away, but at least consider the evidence that is in some ways, going against what you want to believe.
The second thing being that we must understand that almost in all scenarios, the comfort we desire, is on the other end of discomfort.
This is different to if something is genuinely too big or too small. This is about clothes that fit just fine, yet we can’t seem to shake off that sense of dread when wearing them.
But, I do get it. The thoughts that go running through our heads when trying something on generally revolve around what we believe, other people will be thinking, and the judgements they’ll be making.
In no way should the fear of someone else’s potential judgement, ever cause you to not wear something that you want to wear.
Basically, feeling uncomfortable in clothing, is not a sign that you should not be wearing it. In fact, I believe it’s the opposite. It’s a direct signal that we are doing the right thing.
Whether that’s a top that’s slightly tighter fitting than we’re used too, or something that exposes more of our bodies than we’re used too, I’ll say it once more..
The comfort we desire will ultimately be at the other end of discomfort.
Think back to any discomfort felt approaching your first day of school, first day at your job, or the first time you set foot in a gym on your own. And consider what happened afterwards.
Everything went well I assume? Those feelings of discomfort and worry gradually quietened down?
Feeling uncomfortable in something is normal. Especially if you are anything like I was.
From the age of about 17 right through until I was in my early 20’s, everything was “baggy”.
So, despite making physical changes, and despite what others might think or say, I still felt massive amounts of discomfort when I suddenly started wearing clothes that were considered a “slim fit”.
Clothes that would latch onto my waist. I wasn’t used to it.
In my head initially, these “tight areas” were like massive spotlights on my imperfections.
In reality, I just had never worn clothes like this before, therefore making it inevitable that there would be some sense of discomfort.
Fast forward years of persistance, those feelings suddenly hold a lot less power than they once did.
And I want you to have that same experience.
Embrace the discomfort.
Always remind yourself of the facts that show you’re making progress.
Drown out all the noise of what other people may potentially be thinking, and give your own feelings and thoughts about you, the attention they deserve.
Having confidence isn’t an absence of discomfort.
It’s the ability to acknowledge it and realise that it’s temporary.
Everything is uncomfortable to some degree at first.
Then we persevere.
Then, we can wear whatever we want, and always feel confident.