How Your Past Failures At Change Can Be The Key To Success This Time.
I remember how it used to be.
The little voice inside your head - taunting & criticising. Chipping away at any fragile belief you had that there was the possibility that it could happen this time.
A mental highlight reel showcasing all your past attempts that ultimately led to only disappointment, and further cemented this self doubt in place.
What we probably don’t realise is that every failure to sustain change in the past, will be the reason you will succeed now.
On one condition…
That you want them to.
We often look at previous experiences as evidence to support the very transparent claim that we can’t do it now.
Understandable. I’ve been there man.
That’s just one way to look at it though.
You do have a choice here.
WARNING - I might be going a little “woo woo” here, but going “woo woo” is my jam…
Maybe, it just wasn’t the right time. Maybe you just weren’t ready all those months and years ago.
Maybe even, you just didn’t want it enough.
Don’t get me wrong, I bet you wanted it, but possibly just not as much as you wanted other things.
There’s only so many plates we can spin..
Anyways, it’s surely a possibility?
I guess only you’ll know for sure. It’s only really you that needs to know. So be honest with yourself. No need to try and impress or have anyone agree with you here.
That right there is the first step.
Facing up to the reality of WHY those past efforts never came to fruition.
There’s only one thing I’d ask. That you stay away from the word “blame”.
There is no reason to point blame at anything or anyone.
Try your best to look back without judgement and resist the urge to put it down to your own incapability.
Beating yourself up probably won’t help.
Imagine as if this wasn’t even you. Imagine your looking back on a complete stranger’s experiences.
As objectively as you can, look to see what went wrong.
Did they try do too much too soon?
What other stresses & commitments were hindering their efforts?
Did the chase for perfection leave to little wiggle room?
Did they constantly put themselves in situations and surroundings that pushed their willpower to the brink too many times?
Did they perhaps even just expect it all to happen way too quickly and set their own expectations up to inevitably be crushed?
That’s just some suggestions, the possibilities could be endless.
It’s not until we look back though, that we can see which ones apply.
Then, we look at today.
As we set out to go again.
What’s changed? What’s new?
Do we have more time?
Is there less occupying our mind and energy on a daily basis?
Do we have a better understanding of what’s realistic and what’s not?
Are we able to manage the often heavy burden of expectation?
Is our support system stronger than it was before?
Are we willing to be patient?
It’s too easy to get the head down and jump straight back in without even considering why it never worked before.
And it’s even easier to brush off previous failures without wanting to explore what made them that.
Failure isn’t a bad word. It’s another way of saying lessons.
And every time where you’ve tried to change in the past, is full of those lessons.
You just have to be willing to look for them and learn from them without regret or guilt.
As for that little voice..
Just listen to it once in a while. It isn’t in control, you are.
It’ll usually be pointing you in the direction of what it’ll help you to address.