The Client's Story - Laurian Sykes
Why I Love Training.
Quiet mind. Strong body.
In the craziness that seems to be everyday life, why do I chase this feeling? And what gives me this feeling? I always feel like whether it is at home, or on my way to town, or heading into a meeting at work everything is a rush, a stress and turns the day into a bit of a blur.
And then bring in social media, where everyone appears to lead these wonderfully happy, never down, always ‘yay’ lives.
So for me, there are two sides to this.
1. Life is hectic.
2. I have mental health obstacles, so not as much ‘yay’ here.
For that time every day, my mind and my life is still.
Everything is in control, and I am the one controlling it.
I say how hard I push, how hard I try. I may be pounding out deadlifts, but life is still at its quietest.
It doesn’t matter how weak my mind is from that day, how shit of a day work was, or how badly I need a hug… ripping the barbell off the floor, and letting that iron drop back down is the best feeling in the world and brings me that stillness.
Quiet mind. Strong body.
A few months ago I put out an Instagram post about how proud I was of myself for having two good ‘mind’ days in a row….. TWO?!
It is so crazy how I look back now, and I can so easily say that that number has just steadily grown..
Almost to a point now, where I can identify just one bad ‘mind’ day in the last few weeks.
Total opposite to a few months back, and just shows all the work I have put into this is paying off.
I have also found other things which quieten my mind when maybe I can’t get to train, like yoga or something I especially enjoy, meditation.
So let me explain this ‘bad’ mind day and give a bit of insight…
I’ve recently moved in on my own, and there was always a bit of fear there, as sometimes I love being alone, but the moment my mind is a bit weaker it can be the loneliest place.
I don’t always reach out to other people because I don’t want to put a dampener on the happy/yay lives they lead. So it happened over a space of about 2 weeks, where work was a massive priority, taking up the majority of my time (this was also by my choice) and left very little time for me to get into the gym or go for a run, or speak to my mom or friends.
So I could feel ‘it’ building..
Slowly but surely.
I always know how it will end as well.
So one day during this time, I needed to work from home… worst idea ever.
Combine stress, tiredness, loneliness & anxiety over something that had happened at work… and my brain turns into a hamster wheel.
The same scenario plays over and over on repeat, and it gets worse and worse, until, the meltdown. Like clockwork.
The only way to stop my hamster wheel? A phone call to my mom (who is bloody fantastic, because she has this sixth sense so she knows when it is coming too although being 13,066 kilometres away!) and all the tears.
A chat in between the sobs, some reassurance and some love, and I am back to being okay.
That is my one bad ‘mind’ day.
The one way that this could have been avoided – if I had another way to stop my hamster wheel. Another outlet. And that is a training session. And post training session…..
This life stress/tiredness/loneliness, just seems that much more manageable. Thanks endorphins.
I think the ‘strong’ part is that it just provides me with validation and almost a compensation for having what I think is a weak mind.
Like yes I may have meltdowns, and liken my mind to a hamster wheel, but I can lift an effload of weight… so I mean that cancels each other out right?
Some of my best friendships have also been made in a gym or a CrossFit box.
Likeminded people, who I can bond with over a sweat sesh, pushing each other & moaning about the ache afterwards.
Like the ‘Friday night at my favourite bar’ meme is just too true. Appreciate massively the number of times these friends have saved me from myself, impending meltdowns & hamster wheels, and they don’t even realise it.
So why do I love training? Because it makes me the happiest, calmest, strongest & most powerful version of myself.
No depression, no anxiety, no weakness, no meltdowns, no tears.
In the gym, out on a run, shifting a barbell – that is the happy/yay version of me.